Curse

Shamblemonkee · Aug 26, 2005, 10:46 PM // 22:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Macievelli

Several months ago I met a woman in GW that I ended up doing several missions with. As the head of a guild that was (at the time) searching for new members, I thought I would ask her to join, as she seemed intelligent and was a good, mature player. She joined. In my mind at the time, that's all there was to it. She ended up being a great addition to the team.

Over a period of several months, we began to talk more and more in game, play more missions together, etc. At some point we began spending more time in the guild hall just talking, and at somepoint began flirting. Well, that led eventually to a phone call, which lasted for hours. Well, after several months of using up my rollover minutes, we decided to meet one another, as we were pretty interested in each other already.

Cut to present day. We've met, and it was perfect. Like meeting the other half of each other. We are crazy abotu each other, and will be moving in together soon! SO...it can happen.

For the record, I'm 37 and never been married. I've had several long term relationships. Being self employed as product/industrial designer and photographer, I spend way too many hours sitting in front of my computer screen at home. That being said, it makes perfect sense to me that I would end up meeting someone online. After all, things are much different now than they were for our parents or grandparents. The benefit of meeting her in game without any preconceptions or visual stigmas was a very large benefit. I got to know her mind, character (real one, not game) and personality well before having to meet face to face and deal with that aspect. It was great having it happen that way. I grew to like who she was before liking how she looked. In today's world that is a huge bonus, as far as I'm concerned. I got to know her as a person first.

We are both VERY happy.

I'm very happy for you and wish you both the best, I find it odd that people somehow differentiate the net from pen pals,whereas in my view its the same difference but with more power...

Beta Ray Bill · Aug 26, 2005, 11:14 PM // 23:14

Can't say I've ever really "met" anyone online, ever. I guess this forum would be the closest I've ever come to developing actual friendships with people I've met here.

I like the anonymity, because, like Mistress said, I can be myself and hope that others receive it well. I have grace to let the snide comments roll off and take to heart the things that people say in honesty and with compassion. I have my opinions, but my hope is for dialogue and not diatribe.

I've seen a HELLuva lot of stuff on this site that makes my blood boil -- closed-minded bigots, spammers, etc. -- but I keep coming back and posting. Why, I ask myself? I have friends in the real world I don't spend as much time with. Why do I keep coming back?

I think I just hope that maybe I'll find a real buddy here. That I'll get outside the small circle of my physical life and develop something fresh and new. I don't care if I ever meet my online friends in real life or not; that doesn't matter to me. But at least I can connect with someone new and experience something new.

I'm glad to have a bit of comraderie from day to day with people here. I can express my opinions and hear some new ones too. I love the silliness (and naughtiness too) and look forward to reading new posts everyday. My hope is that others will receive me as I've received them and we can somehow benefit each other.

Moral: just because it's virtual doesn't mean it's not as real. As said above, it's not much different than when long distance relationships were done via mail/telegram/telephone.

EchoSex · Aug 26, 2005, 11:28 PM // 23:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by ayb

21 boyfriends by the time you're 20. and by "boyfriends" im gonna assume you mean serious relationship that lasted for an extended period of time. no telling how many "flings" theres been. you're never going to find what you're looking for in someone else, online or off, until you can find it in yourself. that would be my focus for the moment if i were you.

Hey, first thing first - don't be an ass, alright? Second thing, you have no clue what your talking about and you have no right to downsize someone. If you feel you can try to smite people that way, then just get off the forums. We don't like that crap around here.

Scaper-X · Aug 26, 2005, 11:56 PM // 23:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by SOT

...as of 10 a.m. this morning, I am no longer able to pitch tent in the "internet romance can last" camp...

That sounds most ominous. I hope beyond hope it's simply a tiff and nothing more?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ayb

[banality]

Shove off, ayb. Your posts have been nothing short of inflammatory personal attacks on another forum member's personality, not to mention the fact they've served only to derail this legitimate thread. You have may your opinions but overtly flaming another is strictly prohibited on this board. Begone.
-- Scaper-X

Thanas · Aug 27, 2005, 12:53 AM // 00:53

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crimson_1190

but like all things, if you lie to yourself long enough you start to believe it. I don't think people are as deep/complicated as they think they are. There is sort of a Cramer-Rao bound on the unbiased observations you make sampling people, meaning without knowing anything about their past/who they are you can do no better than a certain variance. After a while I think you can see though the BS, i do it with my friend all the time. She keeps asking how I know what she is thinking/Doing (hehe she doesn't believe me that i set up cameras in her room, silly girl

). I just think after a while the real person in any mode of communication comes through, maybe not with the sound and fury of a shot gun blast, but in the small things they do. Noone ever sees the real you, they just sample see a channel distorted version with noise added and attempt to discern it using every analysis tool in their toolbox.

Granted. However from my POV the real you is what experiences everyday life. This version of you with all its faults is in effect designed to cope with this reality. Any experiences out of this norm move away from your everyday reality and thus do not represent the real you as accurately.

Thanas · Aug 27, 2005, 12:55 AM // 00:55

BTW your new avatar concerns me Mistress.

Ghost3 · Aug 27, 2005, 12:56 AM // 00:56

I've actually done both: kept in contact with a r/ friend through online games/forums and have also r/l met some friends that I've found online.

I have a friend that I met in real life first in the Army. We stayed in contact by phone call every 2-3 weeks for 10 years or so, then he sent me a package that had D2 inside (also venison jerky *mmmmm*) So we started getting online to play and talk. This has continued through 2 guilds and 4 games...and 5 more years. Granted, I met him in real life first...but the internet has helped maintain that friendship (named my son after him too *grin*)

I've real life met friends (male AND female) that I 'acquired' through online games. Most of them have fallen away due to changing interests / finances / situations. But others have 'stayed the path' and continue this day.

The internet is a very good way to examine the 'meshing of personalities' without any of the physical characteristics interfering or inducing the mix.

*steps away from the podium and waits for the next person to stand up so I can join in the group "Hi ____"*

Mistress Eyahl · Aug 27, 2005, 01:00 AM // 01:00

Lol, wtf's wrong with my avatar?

You don't love Jen's Moo Cow Pants *sniff*

Aniewiel · Aug 27, 2005, 01:08 AM // 01:08

I've actually met a LOT of guildmates from my Diablo guild leader days. I've had a Marine come through on his way to California, visitors who've stayed in our home from Germany and England and even a younger guildy's family come to meet us (he was 17 and they were on their way to Utah for vacation and stopped to meet us). In fact, the English couple have stayed with us once a year for the last three years. We travel all over the state and have a blast with them and when our daughter's a bit older, we'll be traveling over to merry old England to stay with -them- for a change.

I think that, as far as "dating" and/or meeting people of the opposite sex goes, the Internet is the new bar scene. If one is smart and does one's homework, there's no more danger in meeting someone that you've come to know online than there is dating someone you've just met in a bar.

I've met and maintained a LOT of friendships with my online buddies. They've not only become my online friends but my RL friends when they've come to visit, met my family, patted my dogs and shared my dinner table.

Ghost3 · Aug 27, 2005, 01:10 AM // 01:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistress Eyahl

Lol, wtf's wrong with my avatar?

You don't love Jen's Moo Cow Pants *sniff*

I, for one, love 'em....but they don't look like 'boxers'. Hot Pants, yes. Boxers, no.

Just commenting on the description, not the look

Now the look.......

*sigh* to be young again (chronologically, not mentally. I'm still a 'Toys R Us kid)

Mistress Eyahl · Aug 27, 2005, 01:18 AM // 01:18

They're tighty boxers. The best ones come in pastel coloured check with glittery thread (god I sound like such a girl) but those are a fiver from topshop. Who the hell pays a fiver for knickers?!?!

The button validates boxerness..

Ghost3 · Aug 27, 2005, 01:22 AM // 01:22

*wags finger* ah ah ah

it depends on whether the button is needed (through a button hole) or merely decoration...

Old Dood · Aug 27, 2005, 01:23 AM // 01:23

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mistress Eyahl

They're tighty boxers. The best ones come in pastel coloured check with glittery thread (god I sound like such a girl) but those are a fiver from topshop. Who the hell pays a fiver for knickers?!?!

The button validates boxerness..

Ok...I get it now. I can barely see the buttons. They still look like Hot Pants though. Just like the song that James Brown sang.....

Mistress Eyahl · Aug 27, 2005, 01:23 AM // 01:23

Blast. No you can't poke a finger or.. anything else in *Sigh*

But TRUST me, they're all the rage. Girly boxers. And if you don't believe me then.. well... YOU SMELL!!!

Ghost3 · Aug 27, 2005, 01:27 AM // 01:27

was wagging, not poking! *replies indignantly*

just wondering about the button(s)...

SOT · Aug 27, 2005, 01:29 AM // 01:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scaper-X

That sounds most ominous. I hope beyond hope it's simply a tiff and nothing more?

Nope, it is now dead and bloated.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scaper-X

Shove off, ayb. Your posts have been nothing short of inflammatory personal attacks on another forum member's personality, not to mention the fact they've served only to derail this legitimate thread. You have may your opinions but overtly flaming another is strictly prohibited on this board. Begone.-- Scaper-X

Although I agree your assessment is sound, trolls can only be killed effectively with fire and or acid

Ghost3 · Aug 27, 2005, 01:32 AM // 01:32

salt works too...or is that only slugs?

sorry to hear the 'status change' SOT...real sorry

Maiyn · Aug 27, 2005, 01:35 AM // 01:35

Hmm, I have mixed feelings on this.

I have met a lot of loonies on the internet. Some in person, but even just having the 'pleasure' of knowing their online personality was enough for me. My basic guideline for meeting people in person?

Well, definitely KNOW them. On the internet, you can't really know someone that well at all. I've known people in friendships that last for years, relationships.. all of which were based on false pretenses. The reality is that there are stalkers, pedophiles, and other generally sick perverts online. This is especially problematic when you are a female, or if you are young in general.

The only time I ever meet people is if I have known them for a CONSIDERABLY long period of time. I'm talking in the years category here. I've made a lot of really amazing friends off the internet. Which is sort of strange I guess. Yet it's becoming more and more common and I for one can definitely understand why it's an easy place to meet people.

i guess all I want to stress is that people be careful. Follow all those seemingly dumb rules that parents/authority figures stress. Never meet someone alone, and it's always essential to meet them in public places.

I'm not saying that everyone online is a looney toon, most people are perfectly normal. All it takes is one crazy idiot to cause you problems, grief or even pain.

You just can't see who people REALLY are on the internet. Too many variables, and opportunities for people to lie.

Mistress Eyahl · Aug 27, 2005, 01:36 AM // 01:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maiyn

..loonies...

Hee hee

SOT · Aug 27, 2005, 01:38 AM // 01:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghost3

salt works too...or is that only slugs?

sorry to hear the 'status change' SOT...real sorry

Bah, live and learn. It ended amicably, which is not always the case for people, so thankfully it ended on a positive note. Closure is good from the moment something ends, wouldn't you agree?